Romanticize 30: How to Move On

Saying goodbye to The Romanticizes with a lesson for all of us.

I’m a Taurus through and through, so one of my fatal flaws is that when I set out to do something, I quite stubbornly refuse to relent, even when that thing doesn’t bear out as I’d hoped or it stops bringing me joy. Add to it the fact that, in the case of this Substack, I have paid subscribers to take into account, and you can imagine the pressure that descends when creating certain promised offerings begins to feel like a slog.

That, sadly, has been the case for these Romanticizes for a while now. For the last few months, producing them each week has felt less inspirational and more obligatory, which sort of defeats the purpose. I’ve kept going because I don’t want to let y’all down, but when I really stopped to think about it I realized you surely don’t want to read content I create begrudgingly, right? And you’re very generously supporting me on my writing journey, wherever it takes me. So let’s go someplace new!

With this end of The Romanticizes, I want to give myself—and all of us—permission to play. To try new things as often as necessary and not force ourselves to make them work if they don’t bear out. To free up space when it’s needed so we can pause and see our next step more clearly. For this final Romanticize, we’re shedding rigidity!

The Romanticize

End something that isn’t working and try something new. And if that doesn’t pan out? Don’t sweat it, just repeat the discovery process!

The Advice

• How can you know that something you’re doing isn’t working? Try to step away from the external validation of the thing—engagement numbers or compliments or followers. Look inside for the answer: the biggest indicator is usually that you simply don’t want to do it anymore. Maybe you find that you put it off or have to force yourself to start, or doing it just doesn’t give you the same feeling of peace or accomplishment that it used to. As creative beings, we aren’t meant to stay in a rut, however justified—break yourself out so you can move on to something more fulfilling.

• Don’t beat yourself up if the next thing (or the next thing, or the next thing) doesn’t work out. You never know what these skipping stones will lead to—what’s most important is that you stay curious and stay excited to try and test out new things. There’s nothing less motivating than forcing yourself to do something just to “see it through” or “because I promised to”—it just makes you resentful and scared to take future risks. Perfection is an illusion—the ability to pivot is where the magic brews!

The Inspiration

This is all much harder than it seems, so be gentle with yourself (this is also a note to myself). I immensely dislike change and moments like this make me fear that I’m letting others down or appearing flaky and unreliable. I’m also juggling loads of guilt for not being able to focus on researched features and more personal writing here on Substack. It has, frankly, been a real doozy of a year for me (I talked about it a bit in this Instagram caption) and there simply hasn’t been enough time or energy to spare! But I trust that, by breathing into this change and allowing myself to become more flexible as an ongoing creative practice, a healthy balance will eventually be struck.

Thank you for backing me through all the twists and turns of my creative life—I wish the same steadfast support for you in your pursuits!